Dear men,
We
love your body. If we're in love with you, we love
your body. Your potbelly, everything. Even if you're insecure about
something, we love your body. You feel like you're not this or that? We
love your body. We embrace everything. Because it's you.
Speaking
of your body, you don't understand the power of your
own smell. Any woman who is currently with a man is with him partly
because she loves the way he smells. And if we haven't smelled you for a
day or two and then we suddenly are within inches of you, we swoon. We
get light-headed. It's intoxicating. It's heady.
We
remember forever what you say about the bodies of
other women. When you mention in passing that a certain woman is
attractive -- could be someone in the office, a woman on the street, a
celebrity, any woman in the world, really -- your comment goes into a
steel box and it stays there forever. We will file the comment under
"Women He Finds Attractive." It's not about whether or not we approve of
the comment. It's about learning what you think is attractive and how
we might be able to convey it. It's about keeping our man by knowing
what he likes.
We also
remember everything you say about our bodies, be it
good or bad. Doesn't matter if it's a compliment. Could be just a
comment. Those things you say are stored away in the steel box, and we
remember these things verbatim. We remember what you were wearing and
the street corner you were standing on when you said it.
Never
complain about our friends -- even if we do. No matter
how many times we say a friend of ours is driving us crazy, you are not
to pile on. Not because it offends us. But because it adds to the
weight that we carry around about her.
Remember
what we like. When I first started dating
my husband, I had this weird fascination with the circus and clowns and
old carnival things and all that. About a month after we started dating,
he bought me this amazing black-and-white photo book on the circus in
the 1930s, and I started sobbing. Which freaked him out. I thought, Oh,
my God, I mentioned this three or four weeks ago and talked about it
briefly, but he was really listening to me. And he actually went out and
researched and found this thing for me. It was amazing.
Stand
up, open a door, offer a jacket. We talk about it with
our friends after you do it. We say, "Can you believe he stood up when I
approached the table?" It makes us feel important. And it makes you
important because we talk about it.
No
man should be on Facebook. It's an invasion of
everyone's privacy. I really cannot stand it.
About
ogling: The men who look, they "really" look. It
doesn't insult us. It doesn't faze us, really. It's just...well, it's a
little infantile. Which is ironic, isn't it? The men who constantly
stare at our bodies, as opposed to our eyes, are never the men we're
attracted to.
